Member-only story
2022: Creating a Lexicon of Future
L is for Limerence
Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies as well as a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and to have one’s feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense desire.
Nicky Hayes describes limerence as “a kind of infatuated, all-absorbing passion” which is unrequited. Tennov equated it to the type of love Dante felt towards Beatrice — an individual he met twice in his life and who served as inspiration for La Vita Nuova and the Divine Comedy. It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person which defines limerence, where the individual becomes “more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasizing about them”. Limerence may only last if conditions for the attraction leave it unfulfilled; therefore, occasional, intermittent reinforcement is required to support the underlying feelings. Hayes notes that “it is the unobtainable nature of the goal which makes the feeling so powerful”, and that it is not uncommon for those to remain in a state of limerence over someone unreachable for months and even years. ~ Wikipedia
